The parents' toast at a wedding combines two feelings that aren't always easy to express together: the joy of seeing a son or daughter start their own family, and the nostalgia of a chapter closing. Finding the balance between the two is what makes this toast, when done well, one of the most memorable moments of the entire wedding.
One toast, two possible directions
The parents' toast can be directed mainly at their own son or daughter, with a more personal, intimate tone, or it can be directed at the couple as a whole, formally welcoming the new member of the family. Many families combine both directions into one brief toast: first a few words to their child, then a warm welcome to their new partner.
Lines directed at the son or daughter
- "Seeing you here today, this happy, is one of the most important moments of my life as a parent."
- "Since you were little I dreamed of this day, and reality surpassed anything I could have imagined."
- "I'm deeply proud of the person you've become, and today that pride multiplies."
Welcome lines for the new partner
- "From the first day we met you, we knew you'd take good care of our son/daughter, and today we're confirming that in front of everyone."
- "Officially welcome to this family; you were already part of it for a while, but today we're making it official with all our heart."
- "Thank you for choosing our daughter/son and for making her/him as happy as we see today."
How to close the toast
The close should be short and clearly signal for everyone to raise their glasses. Lines like these work well:
- "To your marriage, to your happiness, and to a whole lifetime together. Cheers!"
- "May this be just the beginning of a life full of love. To you both, cheers!"
- "We love you both so much. To the new family being formed today, cheers!"
When the relationship with the new partner is recent
Not all parents have years of history with a new son- or daughter-in-law by the time of the wedding, and that's okay. In that case, it's better to keep an honest, warm but brief toast toward the couple, focusing mainly on the message to your own child, rather than forcing stories from a relationship that's still being built. Sincerity always shows more than the effort to say something that doesn't feel fully genuine yet.
Differences for a civil wedding without a religious ceremony
The content of the parents' toast changes very little between a civil and a religious wedding; what can vary is the exact moment during the reception when it's given, since civil weddings tend to have a somewhat more flexible event format. If you have questions about other differences between the two formats, you can check out speeches for civil weddings: what changes compared to a religious wedding.
Frequently asked questions about the parents' toast
Should the parents of both the bride and groom toast, or just one side?
There's no fixed rule; it depends on family custom and the event's format. Many weddings include a brief toast from each side of the family, while others prefer a single joint toast representing both families equally.
What if I'm a stepfather or stepmother and I'm not sure if it's my place to toast?
If you've had an active role in the life of the person getting married, you have just as much right to give a toast as any other parent. Talking it over with the family in advance avoids any awkwardness about who speaks and when.
Is it necessary to mention grandparents or other relatives in this toast?
It's not required, but a brief mention of a relative who can no longer be present, or of grandparents as part of the family history, often adds an extra emotional moment without making the toast too long.
What's the difference between this toast and the full best man or maid of honor speech?
The parents' toast tends to be shorter and focused on the direct family bond, while the best man or maid of honor speech can go longer and lean on stories of friendship. If both will be speaking the same night, it's a good idea for the parents to keep their part brief so as not to duplicate the emotional weight of the reception in a single block of speeches.
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